


Asleep

by LowInHighSchool



Series: Love More Worry Less [1]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: FML, Gen, Suicide Attempt, bipolar character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LowInHighSchool/pseuds/LowInHighSchool
Summary: This is the first one in the series. It's like, how Granit was diagnosed etc. TW for a suicide attempt!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey. I just wanted to write again. Enjoy! Title is a Smiths song :)

Truth be told Granit was fed up of feeling this way. He just felt down all the time. Apart from the times when he felt…well it wasn’t happy exactly, everything was just so fast. It was like he couldn’t even trust his own brain and that scared him.

He’d weighed up the pros and cons a million times and now he was sure. This was for the best. Sure he felt bad for his family but they had each other. 

Over the past week he’d gathered painkillers, he had close to 100 now. Enough to hopefully kill him.

He sat in the living room taking them. His parents were back in Kosovo for the week and his brother was at a friend’s house. 

At 35 he started to gag.

(Sing me to sleep, sing me to sleep)

At 40, he started to feel quite sick. 

(I’m tired and I want to go to bed)

At 50, he’d had enough. 

(Don’t try to wake me in the morning)

That should do it. 

(Cos I will be gone)

He wasn’t sure what to do then, how long would it take? Would it actually work? He lay down on the couch and shut his eyes.

 

“I better go” Taulant says to his friend.

“Sure” His friend says “I’ll see you later”

“Bye” Taulant heads for the door.

He reaches home 10 minutes later and opens the door.

“Granit? I’m back”

There’s no reply. Maybe he’d gone to bed but it wasn’t that late. He goes into the living room deciding to watch a film. He sees Granit lying on the couch.

“Tired?”

Granit rolls over and throws up.

“Are you ok?”

“No I feel…” he’s cut off as he’s sick again.

“Did you eat something bad?”

“No, I’ve done something stupid”

“What?”

“I took a load of painkillers”

“Oh fuck. Why?”

“I want to die”

“No you don’t” Taulant says.

“I think I do”

“Ok, I’m calling an ambulance”

“No please”

“Granit. I need to”

“Please” Granit begs.

“I’m not going to let you die”

Granit sighs “Ok”

Taulant finds his phone and dials, Granit doesn’t even hear what he’s saying. 

“It’s ok” Taulant says when he’s off the phone “You’re going to be ok”

“Will you come with me?”

“Of course”

“Thank you. I’m sorry. I really am”

“Why did you do it?”

“I’ve been feeling so shit lately. It just got too much”

“I understand. We’ll work this out yeah? We will”

“Thank you”

The ambulance arrives, asking a million questions which Granit’s too tired to answer. They get him into the back of the ambulance and set off. 

Thankfully the hospital isn’t too far and they arrive in 15 minutes. 

Granit’s scared now. He didn’t want this. He almost cries when they tell Taulant to wait outside. There’s a doctor asking questions and he’s given liquid charcoal to drink which makes him throw up. A lot. He tries to answer the questions and finally the doctor leaves him alone.

“Can I see my brother?” He asks the nurse, his lips still stained from the charcoal.

“Yes, I’ll send him in” The nurse says.

Granit lies back in the bed and sighs. He didn’t want this. 

“How are you feeling?” Taulant asks, hugging him.

“Alright. I just want to sleep”

“You can. I think we’ll send the mental health team to talk to you in the morning” The nurse says.

“The morning? I have to stay overnight?”

“It’s protocol”

“No please, my parents will be home. They can’t find out. Please!”

“Granit. It’s ok” Taulant says “We’ll work it out ok?”

Granit takes a deep breath “Yeah”

“You’ll have to go now.” The nurse says to Taulant “He needs to sleep”

“Can he stay? Please? I don’t want to be on my own”

“Overnight? It’s against regulations but I guess so, he can sleep in the chair”

“Thank you” Granit says “Is that ok?” He asks his brother.

“That’s fine” Taulant says “Let me just text mum”

Granit gives him a sad look.

“You know I have to, they’ll wonder where we are”

“Ok”

“You should both get some sleep” The nurse says “The mental health team will be in around 9 to see you”

“Thank you” Granit says.

The nurse leaves them alone. Granit doesn’t know what to do other than cry.

“This wasn’t meant to happen” he sobs.

“What?”

“You weren’t meant to find me”

“I’m glad I did. Talk to the team tomorrow, they’ll help”

“Yeah, I guess”

“Try and sleep. It’ll seem better in the morning” Taulant says.

“Ok. Goodnight. Hope you can sleep”

“I’ll be fine. Just relax. Everything’s going to be ok”

“Thanks. For everything”

“No problem. Night Granit”

“Night”

Granit is tired as hell and falls asleep quickly.

 

He’s woken up in the morning by the doctor and two people he can only assume are the mental health team.

“Morning, the mental health team are here to speak to you” The doctor says.

“Ok” Granit yawns, he’s feeling a little better this morning. Last night doesn’t seem real.

“Your brother can wait outside”

Taulant gets up and goes out.

Talking. There’s so much talking. They’re asking him a million and one questions. He answers as best he can. By the end of the session they’ve come to the conclusion he’s bipolar. Type 2 to be exact. They give him the number of a therapist and prescribe medication. It’s all a lot to take in.

Soon, they leave and Taulant comes back in.

“How was it?” He asks tentatively.

“I’m bipolar”

“Oh. Well at least you have a name for it”

“Yeah, they want me to talk to someone”

“Maybe it’ll help”

“Maybe. They put me on meds too. Did mum text back?”

“Yeah, they’re staying another day. I didn’t tell her. I just said we were out” Taulant says.

“Thank you”

“You should tell them though”

“I know”

“I’ll help”

“Thanks”

Granit’s kept in until later that evening. The doctor’s satisfied he won’t try anything so he sends him home with instruction to set up therapy sessions. 

“I’ll make sure he does” Taulant says.

Granit’s glad to be home. He goes to his room. It’s then he breaks down. He’s bipolar, he can’t believe it.

Taulant hears crying and walks into Granit’s room, hugging him.

“It’s ok” He says “You’re alright”

“I just can’t believe it” Granit sobs.

“I know, it’s scary but we’re gonna work it out. You’re going to be ok”

“Thanks. I just…I don’t even know. Bipolar”

“Yeah. The meds will help though, they’ll make you feel better”

“I hope so”

“They will, I promise”

“Yeah”

“Come on, you shouldn’t stay by yourself.”

“I’m ok”

“The doctor told me not to leave you alone” Taulant admits.

“Oh, I’m not gonna do anything”

“I know, but it’s not good to isolate yourself”

“I know”

“So come on, let’s watch TV”

“Ok” Granit follows his brother downstairs and they sit watching TV. It feels normal which is something Granit’s missed after the ups and downs of the past few weeks.

By the time he goes to bed later he’s feeling much calmer and what’s more he’s almost starting to regret trying to kill himself. He takes a tablet before bed and he finds it makes him sleepy which is good, he’d been struggling to get to sleep recently. He shuts his eyes and drifts off.


End file.
